He never showed up for his first day. The first rule of hiring a new dishwasher: if he seems too good to be true, he probably is. Here’s the math, if you’re into that sort of thing: former cook + restaurant prep experience = a dishwasher who will not show up.
My hopes of switching over to my happy new full-time prep schedule after a suitable replacement had been found were dashed to pieces like a freshly tapped brûléed caramel lid. The new schedule had been drawn up, my daytime prep hours had been spelled out, and a return to a normal, sane sleep schedule had been so close I could taste it–it tasted it like the meals I would actually be able to share with my fiancee. But nope. It was back to the hiring board. Jermaine, I hardly knew you.
If I haven’t made it perfectly clear already, this is not a job you do for the money. In lieu of an otherwise motivating agenda, this is a job you do to eek by. And that makes us dishwashers, on average, a fickle lot, because $10 an hour is just not always incentive enough to show up. A reliable dishwasher is a unicorn, worth his weight in steak tartare, but paid like crap. Ergo, the restaurant industry suffers from a distinct shortage of reliable dishwashers. And clearly, the math on that works out to a whole lot of complaining from me as the search continues.